What’s fascinating to me is how many women struggle to understand when a man says:
“I was married once, have been happily divorced for several years, and will not marry again.”
Despite my being clear about my choice, it often seems incomprehensible to others. Even after my divorce and custody battles were resolved over 25 years ago, I made a firm vow to myself: I would never remarry.
Over time, I’ve found that this decision often surprises people, particularly women. I have two close female friends who, like many others, seem to believe that a man cannot be content or truly happy unless he has a significant other. It’s as though my singlehood is viewed as a void that must be filled, rather than a deliberate and fulfilling lifestyle choice.
For the past three decades, I’ve devoted myself to horticulture. My home is brimming with over 100 beautiful, vibrant, and thriving houseplants, some of which are more than 20 years old. Tending to these plants brings me immense joy and peace. This passion for nurturing life in my own way fills my days with purpose.
In addition to my love for plants, I’m a writer. I’ve self-published four books and am currently working on my fifth. Writing has been my passion since the seventh grade. The process of researching, reading, and crafting something meaningful is deeply fulfilling. It allows me to explore ideas, express myself, and contribute creatively to the world.
As a diehard sports fan, I immerse myself in the excitement of the NFL, NBA, and MLB. Beyond that, I keep busy with my work as an independent contractor, which demands 30 to 40 hours a week. Staying active is also a priority—I work out regularly at two different health clubs. With all of these commitments and passions, I simply have little time or desire to nurture a romantic relationship.
Some people may find this puzzling, but the truth is simple: I enjoy and prefer the single, unattached life. It’s my choice, and I’ve never felt the need to defend it. Yet, many women I encounter struggle to comprehend or accept this perspective, as if personal happiness is only valid when shared romantically.
Occasionally, I’m reminded of the biblical verse Proverbs 18:22:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
While I respect its sentiment, I don’t believe that marital status determines one’s worth or spiritual favor. The divine love of God, or the Source Energy that connects us all, doesn’t hinge on whether one is single or married.
Ultimately, the path I’ve chosen is a reflection of my values and priorities. My life is full of purpose, creativity, and peace—qualities I wouldn’t trade for anything. While others might see my singleness as an absence, I see it as a space filled with meaning and freedom.
Life is deeply personal, and the beauty of it lies in the ability to shape it according to our own desires. For me, the decision to remain single isn’t a limitation; it’s a liberation. And I’ll continue to embrace it fully, living a life that is authentically and unapologetically my own.
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