Human beings have an inherent desire to feel validated in their beliefs, particularly when it comes to religion or spirituality. From birth, people are conditioned by the philosophies and doctrines they are exposed to, often without ever questioning or researching the origins of these ideas. This tendency to cling to deeply ingrained beliefs becomes especially apparent in the world of dating, where differing spiritual views can lead to snap judgments and unwarranted assumptions.
This phenomenon is even more pronounced in online dating, where interactions begin in the virtual world before transitioning to real-life connections. The initial meeting of energies, even in cyberspace, should ideally be an opportunity for open-mindedness and curiosity. However, if two people’s belief systems don’t align perfectly, it often leads to immediate dismissal. Instead of taking the time to understand one another’s perspectives, many individuals resort to prejudgment, reducing potential connections to a binary choice: compatible or incompatible.
It’s puzzling why so many people approach dating with a rigid mindset, particularly when it comes to matters of faith. Rather than trying to genuinely connect, they often retreat into their “pious bag of tricks,” using their religious or spiritual beliefs as a litmus test for others. This narrow approach can stifle the opportunity to learn from someone with a different background or worldview, leaving little room for growth or mutual understanding.
In many cases, the judgment is swift and final—blocking, deleting, or ghosting someone whose beliefs don’t mirror their own. This behavior raises a critical question: why is it so difficult for people to focus on getting to know someone as a person rather than trying to immediately change or dismiss them based on perceived spiritual differences?
An encounter I had with a woman I met online highlights this issue. She spoke at length about her religious views, specifically her reinterpretation of the name "Jesus." She rejected the Western name, calling it a concoction derived from various cultural influences, including the Hispanic "Jesús" and the Hebrew "Yeshua," which she insisted was the correct pronunciation. While she embraced this shift, she still relied on the same scriptures and doctrines associated with the apocryphal character of Jesus, perpetuating a belief system rooted in the same historical narratives.
Her argument revealed a contradiction: though she had changed the name, the fundamental philosophy she followed remained the same. This prompted me to reflect on the broader issue of how people cling to religious constructs, even when the historical evidence or cultural context might not align with their beliefs. For instance, the widely accepted image of Jesus—a pale-skinned man—stands in stark contrast to the appearance one would expect of someone from his purported time and place. Yet, this inconsistency is rarely questioned, and those who challenge it often face resistance or dismissal.
Despite these inconsistencies, it’s important to acknowledge that faith, even in its most mythological forms, can provide solace and strength to many. The spiritual presence of a figure like Jesus, whether historical or not, has offered comfort and meaning to countless individuals across generations. This isn’t inherently negative; it speaks to humanity’s need for stories and symbols that inspire hope and resilience.
However, the issue arises when these beliefs become a barrier to connection. The judgmental attitudes of individuals who dismiss others for not sharing their faith—or for questioning its validity—are counterproductive. It’s not the beliefs themselves that are problematic but the rigidity and lack of openness that accompany them.
In dating, especially online, this rigidity can prevent meaningful relationships from forming. Rather than seeking to control or convert, people should focus on understanding and appreciating the diversity of thought and experience that others bring. By shedding preconceived notions and embracing curiosity, we create opportunities for deeper, more authentic connections.
Ultimately, the practice of prejudging others based on their spiritual beliefs is not only limiting but also unnecessary. In a world where every individual’s journey is unique, holding space for differing perspectives is essential. Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, thrive on mutual respect, understanding, and a willingness to grow together. It’s time we let go of the need to be right and focus instead on being open.
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